How To Contact the Show Business Giants

Flagged for ContentMethod #1: Flag Semaphore

Highly popularized during the seminal Battle of Trafalgar, this method of conveying information has long been quite popular with sailors, Betty Ross admirers and those who spent their formative years on cheer squads in high schools throughout the world. The Show Business Giants have hired a very qualifed young man named Doug to be on the lookout for all Flag Semaphore messages sent by you, the valued fan. He is standing atop the grand SGB building in California, pen and paper at the ready, to hear what you have to say.

Ford Pier awaits your telegramMethod #2: Morse Code

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Method #3: Heliograph

Due to the lack of many sunny days in the homebase of Vancouver, British Columbia, the Show Business Giants do not necessarily suggest this as your primary means of sending the outfit a letter. However, we do recommend that if you are to ever hike backcountry, you take with you a survival kit including a mirror. This could save your life. Our fanbase is very valuable to us.

Method #4: Television

We at Show Business Giants HQ enjoy spending quality time viewing Channel 8, on the Kunta Cable Network. If you buy that channel, we'll watch whatever program you produce. Think of the captive audience! You can finally tell John Wright all about how his keyboard playing has influenced your life and made you a better punk rocker.

Method #5: Email

Show Business Giants are rather distrustful of new technology given our bad experience with the Sony Betamax. And much like our CB radio sets gathering dust in the closet, we're rather sure this is just a passing fad that'll last about as long as "Zeppelin Air Travel". But if you are so inspired and subject to passing flights of fancy, you can write a few words via our buffer and liason: john.chedsey at nomeanswhatever.com.

Have your Secretary write usMethod #6: Letters

It's social experiment time! We've all heard of the "six degrees of separation, popularized by late night talk show host Kevin Bacon. We would like you, the dear listener and devout follower of social trends, to try this experiment. Write a letter to your favorite Giant and put it in an envelope with just their name written on the outside. Then, hand that letter to a person you think might be able to help the letter along its way to the recipient. We'll count how many stops it takes before reaching its destination. Schoolchildren, this would be a great science fair experiment and far less messy than the baking soda volcano you were thinking of constructing. Besides, Close Encounters of the Third Kind is so passe at this late date.